Thursday, February 14, 2013

How to Handle Rejection


A couple of years ago, I wrote an article comparing marketing to dating. As I sit her on Valentines Day, I think about relationships and rejection. In November, both my best friend and I went on journeys both evolving around one main purpose: building a relationship. While hers was joining match.com to find a boyfriend, mine was joining Boston Startup School to find a startup I'd like to work with. Whenever you put yourself in these situations, there's a lot of "It just wasn't a good fit", "It's not you, it's me." and the always awesome "I'll call you sometime." which really translates into "I'm never going to call you." If you find yourself in the rejection/relationship dilemma here are some tips to keeping sane.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket. When you're searching to build a relationship, something that seems good in writing doesn't always work out once face to face. If you have more things going on at once, the rejection of one won't sting as bad.

Ask why. If you don't ask why, it's hard to learn from the experience. It's not an easy thing to do, but it will help you grow. Recently, I went on an interview where I didn't get the job. I replied to the email asking for some feedback, which turned into grabbing some coffee.  He told me what I could do to improve and he gave me great advice and encouragement. Had I not asked for feedback, I would of never known what I needed to improve upon.

Lies will haunt you. My friend put on her match.com profile "No Way" where it asks if you smoke. This made me laugh. Why? Because I never see her without a cigarette in hand! Lies like this may get you initially where you want to be, but they will catch up with you down the road and it did for her. She was actually very stealth about not smoking before her dates, but made the mistake of keeping a pack of cigarettes in her purse. On a second date with a guy, she went to pull out her wallet and her pack of cigarettes came out of the purse. It was no shocker there was no third date!

Get by with a little help from your friends. If you have good friends, they will be there to encourage and see what they can do to help. Thanks to Boston Startup School, I've come to know the greatest support system. They don't just listen, they offer advice and help however they can. When dealing with some form of rejection, find a positive group of friends who will be there to share a beer with you, listen and help elevate you.

Dust yourself off and try again. Learn from the above and keep moving. Unless you're a complete wrong fit for what you're trying to achieve, take the lessons you learned and apply them to being a better you. My friend is now on her fourth date with a guy she likes and I'm in talks with 3 different companies. What does the future hold for us? I don't know, but if it's rejection I know I'll be just fine!

What are some positive ways you deal with rejection? Please feel free to share!